I took littlelion out shopping last Friday, we both dressed in our best clothes, had a little breakfast together at the local cafe and walked around the stores. I was beaming with self satisfaction of the week behind me, so happy with the changes made and the outcomes I was already benefiting from.
Then from nowhere a lady approached, we didn't know each other but seemed to always be on the same walking/shopping path and she stopped to admire littlelion. We were happily chatting and then she dropped the bombshell, "so looks like you are adding to your family already" I was gutted, after all my hard work and the fact that I felt I had looked the best in months someone thought I was up the duff!!! I dismissed the comment with humour and continued our way.
I was deflated by the comments and I know she meant no harm, but my heart was crushing.
Unfortunately I let this one comment from a random stranger kill my buzz and instead of taking the bull by the horns I reverted to bad habits. Drowning my sorrow in cake. I didn't bother adding intensity to my exercise and on some days I didn't even bother going for a walk.
Physically I feel yuck, bloated, lethargic and agonisingly over thinking what meals I can cook. It's like I've lost all brain capacity to think of and cook a meal that's healthy for me.
Mentally I am a little broken. Whilst I am disappointed that I have deleted all my good work from the week prior, I am more angry with myself that I have let somebody else affect me so much. I am angry that I found it so easy to just give up on myself, my goals. It's these thoughts that make me think about how often I've given up on myself or sacrificed my wants and needs for others or because of others and then I get angrier and more disappointed with myself. Then I eat more cake!
Generally on Thursdays I find my happy place and I know it's a new week ahead, but today I'm just feeling a little flat and pondering how I get myself out of this funk and back on track.
Any suggestions??
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